i will forget him eventually. i know i will. and i don't have a choice but to forget him. i just can't help but think that he just played around with me. anyway, about my plans in my career, yes, i still intend to finish my diploma in social work and hoping to get a license as a social worker.
But then I am having some challenges right now on how to sustain my career plans. i just recently applied in IBM, and i thought i will know the results today but there's none yet. Literally, I don't have enough money to sustain my needs. And my credit card debt is increasing already. I should still be thankful that I am only concerned about my personal needs, but I can't help but feel shame to my family and friends, because they spend money for my needs. Now I am starting to doubt my real intentions on why I would like to pursue social work. I have realized so many things, and yes, indeed, it's not always the way I've imagined it. There are a lot of opportunities in the profession that makes me want to hold off. I may have imagined it in the western setting, but the Philippine setting is so depressing. There is no private practice here in the country, and most likely, you will be working for an agency that does not even have an entity to look after their employees' needs. I just got used in the corporate environment that all I needed to do is perform and complete my deliverables timely. But I guess it does not work that way. I still have my pure intention to help however, how can I even exercise my intention if I am incapacitated by the agency that I work with? And suddenly, I just got coward in handling serious problems of the client.
But I am still praying that the Lord God will guide my way. Haaay. depressing. :-(