my friend visited me here in UP and she treated me for a breakfast in rodic's. she's a lawyer and currently in a relationship with a 49-year-old lawyer as well. she shared with me some stories about her almost 3 year relationship and i can't help but compare it with my 4 month relationship with a 54-year old artist. i was just saddened by the thought that mine lead to nowhere. though i haven't really talked about it with her. if only i was patient enough to wait for the right man for me, i wouldn't be affected like this. but oh well, it's all part of growing old. i just can't move on with the fact that i became such a loser when i opened up all of my feelings to him.
i started thinking of my career again. my friend advised me to not go back to my previous job. but i feel too lazy to look for another job. i even don't know how to proceed and sustain my so-called dream. now, i'm starting to be critical with the decisions that i made this year. i became too impatient. too restless to work again, and i ended up being jobless! however, each time i attend to my classes, i get too inspired with pursuing my social work dreams. i can't just keep up with my idealism whenever i'm back home and see the people in facebook too happy with their chosen paths. maybe i really don't know what i really want. i am just sorry for myself that i risked a lot of things. i've given too much of myself. i got too tired and hopeless.
i hope i won't lose my dreams.
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