I have been seeing the signs. And all of the significant signs showed up within the last full year after I turned 30 years old. I met a lot people along the way. First was Ate Leila, whom I stumbled upon in the airport on my way home to Iloilo. She reminded me to restore my spirituality and since then I've been attending the Sunday mass and try my best to invite my friends as well. I also got the chance to confess my sins, and that was very emotional because I cried. Them I met Ma'am Seny, Ate Leila's friend from Habihan. She referred me to an opportunity for me to realize my dreams, and that is to work for the people in Payatas, where the community are into scavenging. I also had the chance to teach kindergarten students. I didn't realize that I am too lovable for the kids hehe =) I experienced working with Miss Corito Bautista, who showed me the conservative way if practicing social service. In Payatas, I met Miss Elma, who busily prepared for my food and coffee =) Then unfortunately, I was disappointed and frustrated that I could no longer continue working in the Foundation because I had to continue my Post Graduate studies for a Diploma in Social Work. Maybe I expected too much when Miss Corito accepted me. I just thought she will support me while I study at the same time work for her Foundation. But then I was not bitter with that circumstance. I left the job and I am still thankful that I had the opportunity to serve in the most honest and sincere way that I can.
I have been unemployed for almost 5 months now. I did not earn anything although there were some attempts made for me to engage in some "raket-raket". I became a Graduate Assistance to Professor Maureen Pagaduan, Chairperson of the Department of Community Development. I haven't signed my DTR yet, so I wasn't able to receive my paycheck as of now. I am still actually spending the remaining amount of my savings. And right now, I have been overusing my credit card for my food and basic needs. I still have a loan to pay in Chinatrust. And an insurance that I've kept and maintained for 4 years. I am broke, literally! No one said that it would be this easy. I got a fairly good grade in Ma'am Lily's class, however still incomplete with my Field Work subject. I just have to stop working on my integrated paper for a moment to post in my blog. I just want to exercise scribbling my thoughts again. I couldn't help but question my decisions. I used to earn more than enough. But I gave it all up to pursue this dream. I gave up the comfort and security that I had somehow contributed to my family. I feel guilty and selfish sometimes. Now, the second semester is coming. I still don't have enough money to pay my tuition. And my goal of getting a job this November is almost failing me. But I still keep my trust, faith and patience that God has some other plans for me. Now for my plan B, If I don't get accepted in my AI application, I plan to go back to HSBC. Phew! Enough of all of these musings.... Back to my integrated paper...
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